When you bring it down to its basic ingredient regarding the lack of (or inconsistency of) achievement – it’s the fear of rejection! It doesn’t matter what dream you want to pursue or what you want to achieve in your life or career, if you can’t get over the fear of, “NO”, the chances are slim that you’ll gain the success you’re after. After all, fear is a learned process.

When you create a foundation built on the permanent elimination of the fear of “NO”, as well as, the internalization of rejection, everything else will automatically fall in place! All the training and knowledge that you gained from books, webinars and seminars will be put to good use without reservation and without fear! Instead of focusing on the pain of rejection; drive, ambition, passion, purpose and persistence will be your new found focus! This is why I say, “When you can conquer your fear of “NO”, everything else falls into place!”

Your Perception Changes Everything!

Our interpretation of life experiences is what creates the baggage that weighs us down. From our childhood to today our interpretation of events is what shapes our perceptions. Often times, (especially when we were very young), when someone was rude to us we sometimes interpreted it as if we did something wrong to cause this rudeness! Now that we’re older, because of our interpretations from events that happened to us in the past, when we we’re much younger, we become fearful when we think we’re going to have to put ourselves in a similar situation. We find ways to avoid the situation altogether! The reality is, how we react to rejection and the word “NO” today, started in our childhood from how we interpreted rejection then.

As an adult we still carry those “scars!” and those “scars” rear their ugly head every time we place ourselves in a situation where there is a potential for rejection! So, we avoid having to suffer this “pain” by finding excuses why we “can’t” …oh I can’t, I have a dental appointment that day …oh I can’t, I’ve got to take my cat to the vet that day …I’m sure they wouldn’t be interested! …I don’t want to seem “pushy” I’ll wait until I think they’re ready! etc. etc. Sound familiar?

So, what does one do to change one’s perception so that rejection and the word “NO” has no more power over one’s life and career? How do you handle rejection? How do we overcome rejection? Start with this…

An Exercise to Exorcise!

For years I’ve asked entrepreneurs to do an exercise that, to a person, has always had a profound effect on them. Try it on yourself and see if it doesn’t do the same for you. Find a quite place where there will be no distractions for a while. On a piece of paper write at the top of the page the following question, “What am I afraid of?” Then, list your fears both big and small, arrange them in order of importance, examine each one closely, and when you do; ask yourself, “Why do I fear this? Why does this particular thing cause me so much anxiety?”

When you can ‘step back’ and objectively define, as well as, analyze your fears you can conquer those fears! The more you understand why you fear what you fear, the less that fear will have any more control over you. There is just something about seeing it in black and white right in front of you.